12-7-08
Dear Family and Friends,
Rachel and I wanted to write you all because we really want you to know what God is doing in our lives. We are earnestly asking for you to consider praying for us as we enter into a completely new season of our lives that currently is very open-ended. We feel that it is crucial for believers to lift one another up in prayer during these times and agree with each other that God's Kingdom would come here on earth, as it is in heaven!
In case some of you don't know, we would like to start out from the beginning.
In March of 2008, I (Jimmy) was given the opportunity to be the Executive Director over a large continuing care retirement community here in South Dallas. I sought the Lord a lot about this opportunity because it was a major decision, as you can imagine. Plus, this opportunity presented itself during Josef's 7 month intensive care stay in downtown Dallas. The main reason I was particularly interested in this community was because it was a not-for-profit ministry. Well, after nearly 3 months of e-mails, assessment tests and interviews, I was hired. It was the highest level position I have had in my 7 year career as a licensed nursing home administrator.
Throughout the months as Executive Director, I wavered in wondering if this was really what I was supposed to be doing. I was questioning what I really wanted as far as ministry. Did I really want to ultimately be doing this kind of ministry? Why did I keep feeling compelled to minister to people at the hospital where Josef was? Why was God providing opportunities for me to pray and minister not only to residents, but also employees, friends, and even strangers in an increasing capacity? Why, though, did I still want more?
Throughout the months God used many situations to lead me to a final awakening of my heart. Some were extremely difficult, but led to more desperation for God in both my life and Rachel's. The awakening has really been a process over many years but had not fully come to fruition until late this fall when I heard clearly from the Lord that He did want to use me in ministry, but this wasn't the ministry that He would fully bless me/us in. I heard the Holy Spirit in many different ways (through dreams, prayer, and counsel) say that I was utilizing my gifts and talents that He had given me, but only at their half potential. The choice would be mine about what I was to do with those gifts and talents, but to not act now would mean missing out on His best plan for our lives.
***All of what we are giving you all today is an abbreviated story as you can imagine, but for the sake of time, we are trying to summarize.
I'll continue. After hearing God clearly, I now had to tell Rachel what He told me. As I told Rachel that I believed God was calling us to full-time family ministry, she was supportive. She only hit me 3 times. JUST kidding! Yes, I (Rachel) was supportive but I had my moments!
If indeed God was calling us (which we believed He was), then He would provide because He has never, ever let us down before. We haven't always understood everything, but we have always trusted and loved Him regardless of the things that haven’t made sense. And to quote Bill Johnson (awesome pastor, teacher, author, etc.), we don't focus on why but "what now?"
Rachel and I both have a heart to see people saved, healed, set free and delivered from bondage…and that is why we are doing what we are doing. We are following our hearts and we firmly believe the Holy Spirit is leading us.
Back to Jimmy’s work story: In October, exactly 7 months to the day (not intentionally) of my first day at this retirement community, I presented my resignation. Over the next 30 days as I worked out my notice, I had multiple confirmations from employees, residents, family, friends, etc. revealing that they were not surprised at all about this decision and believed this was of the Lord.
The resignation was completely by faith. I resigned having no job lined up but believing that God would provide me another job. Over this awakening process, I felt the Lord leading me to go back to a ministry training school, specifically, Christ for the Nations here in South Dallas. This was another surprise for Rachel, , but, she gave me her blessing. I am enrolled to start school in January 2009, attending classes from 8-12 Monday through Friday. It is a one year program. I am enrolled in the School of Missions and School of Pastoral Ministries believing that as we take this leap of faith, God will show us what the next step is after completing the program. We believe God is calling us to live on the campus among the students as the beginning of our full-time ministry. On campus, they have a 24-hour International House of Prayer, daily worship, children's ministries, etc. CFNI partners with many ministries that are effectively leading and demonstrating the love of Jesus around the world.
Continuing: We placed our much-loved house on the market for sale or lease, I signed on with a temp agency (in which I've had no work from yet ), and began notifying many of my contacts of my availability to work/find a job that would be able to compliment my school schedule at CFNI. So, where are we today?
We are in a place of complete dependence on Jesus right now! We have no back-up plan (Isn't that just what God loves? No back-up plan with complete dependence on Him? It's the best time for Him to show that even our dreams can't exceed what He really wants to do for His people!)
Here is what we are asking you to pray and agree with us about:-Someone to lease or purchase our house by the beginning of January.
-Someone to adopt or be foster parents to our 2 dogs – ideally for at least a year while we are at CFNI. (No dogs allowed)
-God to provide Jimmy a job and/or the resources for our family that would cover all current, moving, and future living expenses. Our ultimate desire would be for Jimmy to not have to work outside of the home or the CFNI campus during this season, in order for us to carry out our family ministry vision.
-Jimmy to sell his car by January 1st for enough to pay off the loan. (We are downsizing to one car).
-Rachel to have grace and a special anointing to home school Meg and Ava at the same time while caring for Josef.
-Josef to be completely healed. He is still on continuous oxygen. We also are believing for his teeth to turn from yellow to pearly white! (His teeth are just coming in and appear discolored because of all of his antibiotics during his hospitalization). He also is starting Physical, Occupational, and Speech therapy within a month.
-Our health insurance needs to be completely taken care of. (God has already done some amazing stuff about this but a few things need to be wrapped up).
-For the Holy Spirit to continue to reveal to our hearts the Father’s plan for us and burn away anything that is not pleasing to Him in our lives.
-And lastly…for our family to easily adapt to our new environment! It is a lot of change but we are all excited. We are really going to miss our home, dogs and our great friends and neighbors across the street.
We would like to thank, once again, everyone who stood in the gap for Josef all of those critical months this year. We believe your prayers were the key to Josef’s survival. This is a surreal time for us right now, as we are remembering Rachel’s first hospitalization last year just after Thanksgiving and then the days leading up to Rachel’s water breaking on the morning of December 18th, 2007, and then of course Josef’s 1st birthday on December 26th. We know many of you have seen pictures of him, but we wish you could see him in person and hold him. His spirit and his smile are a true testimony that Jesus held him all of those months and has blessed him with a heart, we believe, for the nations.
Many Blessings and much love to all,
Jimmy and Rachel
***Please forward to anyone we may have missed or would be interested.
Prayer/Encouragement/Support:
James H. and Rachel L. Gross
1632 Glen Valley Irving, Texas 75061
Jhg1468@aol.com rachegross@yahoo.com
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Monday, November 17, 2008
Today
Today marked a special day for me as Executive Director of the Dallas retirement community where I work...my place of employment for only 2 more days.
After Thanksgiving lunch with the Leadership Team, I was called to the front of the room to sit in a chair. Two leaders (and wonderful friends) led the concluding 15 minutes of our meeting. During this time, they presented to me individual bags, each containing an element related to a scripture that was written on the bag.
Each scripture was especially meaningful. As I listened to the Word of God being read aloud freely, I was so thankful and humbled at how good God is. His Word is alive! And with it, He reminds us that He always loves. He always redeems. He always sets us free with truth. Always.
Following the presentation of the bags, I was given one final gift. It was a beautiful, matted glass framed picture. Behind the glass, a photo of Rachel, Meg, Ava, Josef, and me was perfectly centered. Two awesome scriptures were placed...one above the photo, and one below.
Around the photo, in every empty place of the matting, were words that people wrote about what they thought about me. My eyes filled with tears as I sat in this chair in front of all of these people...all unique, all on their own journey...all in different places in their lives with God. All people who Jesus died for.
The time concluded with both leaders, placing their hands on my shoulders, and praying for me...publicly...right there...in front of everyone. I felt as though God's hands were touching my shoulders and the voice of the Father was saying, "Well done. Youv'e been faithful. Just wait for what is next. See, I love you. I really do."
What else can I say about this special day? I think it's just to remember that He never, ever leaves us. He refines us. He longs for more people to know Him and His Son. He came to set the captives free. He has set me free!
After Thanksgiving lunch with the Leadership Team, I was called to the front of the room to sit in a chair. Two leaders (and wonderful friends) led the concluding 15 minutes of our meeting. During this time, they presented to me individual bags, each containing an element related to a scripture that was written on the bag.
Each scripture was especially meaningful. As I listened to the Word of God being read aloud freely, I was so thankful and humbled at how good God is. His Word is alive! And with it, He reminds us that He always loves. He always redeems. He always sets us free with truth. Always.
Following the presentation of the bags, I was given one final gift. It was a beautiful, matted glass framed picture. Behind the glass, a photo of Rachel, Meg, Ava, Josef, and me was perfectly centered. Two awesome scriptures were placed...one above the photo, and one below.
Around the photo, in every empty place of the matting, were words that people wrote about what they thought about me. My eyes filled with tears as I sat in this chair in front of all of these people...all unique, all on their own journey...all in different places in their lives with God. All people who Jesus died for.
The time concluded with both leaders, placing their hands on my shoulders, and praying for me...publicly...right there...in front of everyone. I felt as though God's hands were touching my shoulders and the voice of the Father was saying, "Well done. Youv'e been faithful. Just wait for what is next. See, I love you. I really do."
What else can I say about this special day? I think it's just to remember that He never, ever leaves us. He refines us. He longs for more people to know Him and His Son. He came to set the captives free. He has set me free!
"He brought me to His banqueting table............and His banner over me is love".
Song of Songs 2:4
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
--- Practicing ---
"My sheep hear my voice. I know them, and they follow me".John 10:27
God is stirring...shaking...shifting............adjusting things in my heart, and what I am realizing is, I have really wanted this for a long time...but didn't fully know I was waiting for or wanting it like this. Does that make sense?I think I've been a little distracted. Not bad distracted. But distracted none-the-less. A colleague and good friend gave me her book, Practicing His Presence. Wow, it is an awesome book. I love how God is so incredibly in-tune with what we need and when we need it. The book has been around for a long time and is written by Brother Lawrence who lived in the 1600's and Frank Laubach who was born in the late 1800's. Here's one of Frank Laubach's journal entries:
***
January 29th, 1930
I feel simply carried along each hour, doing my part in a plan which is far beyond myself. This sense of cooperation with God in little things is what so astonishes me, for I never have felt it this way before. I need something, and turn round to find it waiting for me. I must work, to be sure, but there is God working along with me. God takes care of all the rest. My part is to live this hour in continuous inner conversation with God and in perfect responsiveness to his will, to make this hour gloriously rich. This seems to be all I need think about.
I feel simply carried along each hour, doing my part in a plan which is far beyond myself. This sense of cooperation with God in little things is what so astonishes me, for I never have felt it this way before. I need something, and turn round to find it waiting for me. I must work, to be sure, but there is God working along with me. God takes care of all the rest. My part is to live this hour in continuous inner conversation with God and in perfect responsiveness to his will, to make this hour gloriously rich. This seems to be all I need think about.
***
I think I am going to determine to start practicing His presence a whole lot more than I have done in the past. When I turn, I want to find what I need for that moment, like Laubach.
Really, isn't practicing what God instructed in the Torah when He told the children of Israel to talk about the Lord when you are in your homes, when you walk along the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up?
I guess I'll start practicing His presence more...
This seems to be all I need think about.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Mrs. Clement's Story
Yesterday the news was released (sounds dramatic!) that I was going to be leaving the retirement community where I work.
I have received so many affirming emails, personal words of encouragment, hugs, tears...lots of expressions of God's love over the last few days. It has been awesome.
I wanted to specifically write about Mrs. Clements (I'll use a different name, for her privacy)....a resident that lives in our community.
As I was walking back to my office yesterday, Mrs. Clements stopped me to tell me she received my letter about my resignation and the reasons I was leaving related to the fact that I was feeling led to pursue full-time ministry.
Mrs. Clements (in her 80's), looked at me with sad, regretful eyes and said, "My husband wanted to be in the ministry........and you know what?..............................I stopped him."
Woah. It was one of those powerful moments (like many others I've had over the years with the residents), that was really significant. She proceeded to tell me that her husband had done many things for the Lord when he was alive, but that because of her fears...fear of not having money, fear of not knowing how they could make ends meet, fear of the unknown...she stopped him from pursuing what the Lord had pursued him about. He had wanted to become a Pastor. She hugged me and told me how happy she was for us, and she knew that the Lord would honor us and take care of us as we continue to pursue Him.
I have received so many affirming emails, personal words of encouragment, hugs, tears...lots of expressions of God's love over the last few days. It has been awesome.
I wanted to specifically write about Mrs. Clements (I'll use a different name, for her privacy)....a resident that lives in our community.
As I was walking back to my office yesterday, Mrs. Clements stopped me to tell me she received my letter about my resignation and the reasons I was leaving related to the fact that I was feeling led to pursue full-time ministry.
Mrs. Clements (in her 80's), looked at me with sad, regretful eyes and said, "My husband wanted to be in the ministry........and you know what?..............................I stopped him."
Woah. It was one of those powerful moments (like many others I've had over the years with the residents), that was really significant. She proceeded to tell me that her husband had done many things for the Lord when he was alive, but that because of her fears...fear of not having money, fear of not knowing how they could make ends meet, fear of the unknown...she stopped him from pursuing what the Lord had pursued him about. He had wanted to become a Pastor. She hugged me and told me how happy she was for us, and she knew that the Lord would honor us and take care of us as we continue to pursue Him.
*************
"Let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from the guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful." Messianic Jews (Hebrews) 10:22-23
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
"Now" is the Time...
God has been doing some pretty cool stuff in our lives lately. Kind of shady, upside-down stuff...but the kind of stuff that you know only He is behind...
Basically here's everything in a nutshell:
Let's go back a loooong time ago. (o.k., not that long ago since I'm only 31).
I grew up thinking at some point in my life I would be involved in ministry. I wasn't sure how that would look, but I was passionate about the Lord and knew He would show me the way.
Life happened and the distractions of the eye became more pleasing to me than looking into Jesus's eyes. Every decision we make is significant. As far as my career choice, I took the road more often traveled...or maybe not? Nursing home work-here I come!!! (At least it wasn't ministry)?!?
I majored in long-term health care in college, and after graduating in late 2001, I have managed communities full of elderly people with amazing stories. God has blessed the work of my hands in these homes.
Throughout the course of the years the Lord has given me many opportunities to minister His heart not only to the residents in the communites, but also to the employees...some of whom have had very tough lives.
There have been ups and downs along the way, but the down times have taught me how to be a better leader, and often times how to overcome evil with love. (And it has won every time).
Fast forward a bit: (is that even a relevant term anymore since we don't have audio cassettes or video tapes and no one fast forwards anything)?
I am now at the highest point in my 7 year career as a licensed Administrator---I am the Executive Director over a 27-acre multi-leveled campus...........and...........God has told me-"I want you to use your gifts and talents in a different way. You have only been using them at their half potential. I want more for you...and for others, through you."
"But Lord---how can this be? We have talked about this before. It's too late. I made this decision a long time ago. I love you and my heart has been reconciled to your's for years...but I have a family now. A baby who has just barely been out of the hospital. A wife who sort of likes getting her hair done regularly. I have a degree in healthcare, not theology. I have a mortgage...cars...things...things...things......................"
"I know all of this. Don't you remember? I formed you. I know everything about you. I know everything that has happened to you in your life...everything...the good stuff and the bad. It wasn't all my original plan, but I have (and am) using it for good! Trust me. Close your physical eyes. Don't look at the ground. You'll fall. There's stuff all around you...you'll trip and fall! Don't look down. Look UP! Lift your eyes to the hills! That's where I Am! On top of the hills...and I am calling YOU!"
So---I've realized that in my imperfection and mere human-ness, God is still wanting to increase Himself...through me. How humbling is that??? How awesome is that!!!
I am most humbled and thankful for Rachel, who has said, "Whatever God wants...we'll do. Full-time ministry? We'll do it. Our relationship with Him and our family is the most important thing we have. I will follow you..."
So, I have given my 30-day resignation to my employer, who has graciously allowed me to work out my notice. I have almost completed my application to Christ for the Nations (down the street from my current employer), because that is where God told me we were supposed to go. I don't have a job lined up after mid-November, we have to sell or lease our house by January 5th, and we won't talk about money in our savings account! All are reasons to look at the ground.
But the voice of the Lord keeps saying..."Look up!"
We are in uncharted territory right now, but if I am confident of anything, it is that the Living God looks at our hearts...which He created...and He knows them. I am confident that He is proud of us and cheering us on, shouting "Go for it!!! I'm right there with you!!! I will bless you!!! This is about ME! This is about what I AM doing! Prepare the way! Prepare the way for my SON!!!"
Basically here's everything in a nutshell:
Let's go back a loooong time ago. (o.k., not that long ago since I'm only 31).
I grew up thinking at some point in my life I would be involved in ministry. I wasn't sure how that would look, but I was passionate about the Lord and knew He would show me the way.
Life happened and the distractions of the eye became more pleasing to me than looking into Jesus's eyes. Every decision we make is significant. As far as my career choice, I took the road more often traveled...or maybe not? Nursing home work-here I come!!! (At least it wasn't ministry)?!?
I majored in long-term health care in college, and after graduating in late 2001, I have managed communities full of elderly people with amazing stories. God has blessed the work of my hands in these homes.
Throughout the course of the years the Lord has given me many opportunities to minister His heart not only to the residents in the communites, but also to the employees...some of whom have had very tough lives.
There have been ups and downs along the way, but the down times have taught me how to be a better leader, and often times how to overcome evil with love. (And it has won every time).
Fast forward a bit: (is that even a relevant term anymore since we don't have audio cassettes or video tapes and no one fast forwards anything)?
I am now at the highest point in my 7 year career as a licensed Administrator---I am the Executive Director over a 27-acre multi-leveled campus...........and...........God has told me-"I want you to use your gifts and talents in a different way. You have only been using them at their half potential. I want more for you...and for others, through you."
"But Lord---how can this be? We have talked about this before. It's too late. I made this decision a long time ago. I love you and my heart has been reconciled to your's for years...but I have a family now. A baby who has just barely been out of the hospital. A wife who sort of likes getting her hair done regularly. I have a degree in healthcare, not theology. I have a mortgage...cars...things...things...things......................"
"I know all of this. Don't you remember? I formed you. I know everything about you. I know everything that has happened to you in your life...everything...the good stuff and the bad. It wasn't all my original plan, but I have (and am) using it for good! Trust me. Close your physical eyes. Don't look at the ground. You'll fall. There's stuff all around you...you'll trip and fall! Don't look down. Look UP! Lift your eyes to the hills! That's where I Am! On top of the hills...and I am calling YOU!"
So---I've realized that in my imperfection and mere human-ness, God is still wanting to increase Himself...through me. How humbling is that??? How awesome is that!!!
I am most humbled and thankful for Rachel, who has said, "Whatever God wants...we'll do. Full-time ministry? We'll do it. Our relationship with Him and our family is the most important thing we have. I will follow you..."
So, I have given my 30-day resignation to my employer, who has graciously allowed me to work out my notice. I have almost completed my application to Christ for the Nations (down the street from my current employer), because that is where God told me we were supposed to go. I don't have a job lined up after mid-November, we have to sell or lease our house by January 5th, and we won't talk about money in our savings account! All are reasons to look at the ground.
But the voice of the Lord keeps saying..."Look up!"
We are in uncharted territory right now, but if I am confident of anything, it is that the Living God looks at our hearts...which He created...and He knows them. I am confident that He is proud of us and cheering us on, shouting "Go for it!!! I'm right there with you!!! I will bless you!!! This is about ME! This is about what I AM doing! Prepare the way! Prepare the way for my SON!!!"
"I, Yeshua, have sent my angel to give you this testiomony for the Messianic communities. I am the Root and the Offspring of David, and the bright Morning Star. The Spirit and the Bride say, 'Come!' Let anyone who hears say, 'Come!' And let anyone who is thirsty come---let anyone who wishes, take the water of life free of charge."
Revelation 22:16-17
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Why "Mila Eighteen"?
"Mila 18" was the headquarters bunker (actually shelter) of Jewish resistance fighters in the Warsaw Ghetto in Poland during World War 2. It was located below the ground---underneath a building at ulica Mila 18.
The bunker was a safe place for many Jewish men, women, and children from the atrocities occuring just above the ground. It was also a place to strategize and prepare for combat. On May 8th, 1943, three weeks after the start of the Uprising, when the bunker was attacked by the Nazis, there were 300 courageous souls inside. Some surrendered, but many stood firm. German and Ukrainian troops threw tear gas into the bunker to force the occupants out. Many were murdered, but many refused to surrender.
I chose the name "Mila Eighteen" as the title of my blog because I wanted to emphasize a few things: First, the importance of having a safe place...a bunker...to commune with the God of Israel, the Holy Spirit, and Yeshua (Jesus)...the Lamb of God. Second, because I want to be a resistance fighter.
I want to fight for my wife and children, take a stand for holiness in the midst of darkness, refuse to compromise the Word of God, share His love with the un-lovely (all of us humans), and live a life of worship before the Lord. I want to be a warrior. Why should I be anything less? I have Him, in me. He is my Mila 18...
The bunker was a safe place for many Jewish men, women, and children from the atrocities occuring just above the ground. It was also a place to strategize and prepare for combat. On May 8th, 1943, three weeks after the start of the Uprising, when the bunker was attacked by the Nazis, there were 300 courageous souls inside. Some surrendered, but many stood firm. German and Ukrainian troops threw tear gas into the bunker to force the occupants out. Many were murdered, but many refused to surrender.
I chose the name "Mila Eighteen" as the title of my blog because I wanted to emphasize a few things: First, the importance of having a safe place...a bunker...to commune with the God of Israel, the Holy Spirit, and Yeshua (Jesus)...the Lamb of God. Second, because I want to be a resistance fighter.
I want to fight for my wife and children, take a stand for holiness in the midst of darkness, refuse to compromise the Word of God, share His love with the un-lovely (all of us humans), and live a life of worship before the Lord. I want to be a warrior. Why should I be anything less? I have Him, in me. He is my Mila 18...
"...the only safe place is in the center of the flame..."
(lyrics from one of my favorite Misty Edwards songs)
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